also stars on Summer House spinoff In the City with Batula, which filmed last fall and is currently airing on Bravo, said that even today, after everything they've filmed,  I'll never really understand what the motives were. 

Kyle Cooke Kareem Black/Bravo

Recalling how he found out - only days before their statement, when he tracked Batula's location to Wilson's apartment - Cooke says,  I couldn't sleep,  so he reached out to Miller.  Ciara is a homebody. She wants to drag herself to my apartment to have a huddle? I had a sinking feeling in my stomach. 

The day before the news went public, Cooke says Batula told Miller via text.  Ciara immediately called me, and I finally heard from Amanda nine hours later,  he says.  Even though I already had so many pieces of the puzzle, I was still in disbelief. That'd be so reckless and thoughtless and irresponsible, and Amanda is not usually any of those things. 

As for the confusing timeline, Cooke says Batula moved out of their apartment in the beginning of November.  When she finally did move out, we were creating separation, to make an effort with one another. So the idea was we go to couples therapy and we go on a date every single week. Well, none of that happened. We weren't really putting in any more effort or work into the marriage,  he says.

He admits he  was just almost pushing her away,  however,  I guess that set the wheels in motion for her. 

He adds,  I never stepped out physically in my marriage. Am I guilty of inappropriate behavior? Absolutely.  He owns being  too flirty for a married man, yes. I acted out by staying out too late, it was not a physical affair. 

He says Batula still has items to gather at their apartment and, referring to Wilson, he quips,  I'm trying to be as patient as can be, but I think my patience has run out. I think she has a boyfriend that can come over and probably help pack up a car. I will not be there. 

But, as seen on TV, Cooke still cares for Batula. They speak regularly, he says, and share two rescue dogs, Reese and Ryder.  There's still a lot of love there, still a lot of regrets. I think the part that hurts is when she talks about our marriage and our relationship like there were no good times,  he says.

Still, he calls Batula and Wilson's reunion behavior  more defensive than remorseful,  and he remains confused even after his chat with Wilson, which will air on Summer House: The Aftermath.

 I finally got him to own up to some things I needed to hear him say,  Cooke says.  I was discouraged that he didn't come prepared to be 100 percent honest about everything. He was still lying about his girlfriend [Meija Moreno] and the reality of his exclusive nature of that relationship, which boggled my mind. It was one of those conversations that I was like,  I don't know what we just talked about for two and a half hours.' I'm not saying we talked in circles, but maybe I was too easy on him. 

And he worries about Wilson's intentions:  West is no dummy, I think he realized Amanda's going to have this big PR moment. I think he realized it last summer. I think that's part of the reason why he's pulling his chair up next to Amanda. He's like,  I'm going to be the white knight here and stand up for Amanda because, well, the internet's going to love her and therefore the internet's going to love me.' 

He also owns his own troubling behavior that has been captured on Summer House.  I'm really disgusted with myself with how I spoke to Amanda,  he admits.  Just because they end up in this relationship doesn't erase my flaw, my mistakes and my regrets. I've done my best to apologize and learn from it. 

He and Batula now plan to do a  walkaway  divorce  in lieu of a prenup.  He says Batula took the first step forward in the legal process; he received an email from her lawyer mid-March when rumors of Batula and Wilson began.

But he will still film with them, if all of them come back for season 11.

 if they come knocking, I'll answer,  he says of doing another season.  Hopefully we can still coexist peacefully. I feel like life's too short. Have I forgiven [West]? No. I'm just not the kind of guy that wants to close someone out of my life, particularly if they played a big part in it. I'm doing this the best that I can. There's no playbook.