Editor's note: At least four people are dead after a shooting at Silver Rail Elementary School in Bend, Oregon. Shootings have become all too common in the United States. This story was first published in 2015. We have updated this story and republished it, far too many times.

The sinking feeling is all too familiar: When mass shootings occur, parents have to figure out how to talk to their children about violence.

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There's no one way to address tragedies with children, and how parents approach it depends both on the child's age and temperament. The American Psychiatric Association and the American Academy of Pediatrics recommend avoiding the topic with children until they reach a certain age - around 8, but again, it depends on the child.

 If it doesn't directly affect your family, kids under 8 do not need to hear about this,  said Dr. Deborah Gilboa, a parenting expert. Before this age, children struggle to process it.


But parents should talk to their younger children about mass shootings if they are at risk of hearing it from others, she said.

While advice varies by age, Gilboa provided a general recommendation for all parents faced with telling their children about the latest mass shooting.

 First, you have to process your own emotional response. What you do will affect them more than what you say,  she said.  Have your first reaction away from your child. 

Gilboa also provided the following recommendations for sharing bad news with children of all ages.

Preschool-kindergarten: One-sentence story

 You have to figure out before you talk to them what story you want them to tell themselves,  she said.

With young children, Gilboa recommended that parents keep their stories simple. These stories should reinforce parents' beliefs. Perhaps, parents want their children to know that a bad person hurt people. Maybe parents want their children to know that someone with a serious illness felt angry and hurt people.

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