Dear Eric: I recently discovered that my younger brother (age 72) has been taking advantage of my elderly uncle (age 92), who has dementia. My cousin, who thankfully has power of attorney, uncovered checks made out to the brother. The brother initially denied the checks, but when confronted with the evidence, he rationalized them by claiming the money was owed to him (which is untrue).

Interestingly, he behaved similarly with my aging parents 40 years ago. At this point, I have severed ties with him, but a part of me would like to hear his explanation. I do not think talking with him would yield any satisfactory conclusion. Your thoughts?

- Bewildered Brother

Dear Brother: I agree with you that you probably won't get what you want from his explanation. Indeed, he's already offered an explanation - that the money was owed - and that wasn't satisfactory. He has either convinced himself of a story that isn't true or he's committed to lying. Either way, he hasn't shown evidence that he's in a position to help you close the book on this.

It sounds like what you want is for him to give you a reason for his behavior. But even that might not suffice. If he has a pattern of this kind of financial elder abuse, it's doubtful that any reason for his alleged crimes would be good enough. Because, frankly, there's no good reason. Even if he's suffering from a psychological problem, and acting out because of it, knowing this may still not give you the peace you seek.

At a deeper level, you may be wanting something to prove to you that your brother isn't who he appears to be. He may be many things, some of them quite good. But this is clearly a line in the sand for you. But until he takes responsibility, apologizes and makes amends, severing contact may be the best option. You could consider writing to him to express your dismay and asking for an apology and your cousin can pursue legal avenues for restitution. But giving him more space to spin a yarn doesn't serve you.

Dear Eric: I am writing about your response to  Befuddled and Injured  who wrote in regarding his response to a salesperson who ask

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